


I Didn't Mean to Hurt You

by vernie_klein



Series: Across the Universe [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: John Lennon songs evoke feelings, M/M, Rhodey thinks they should at least talk, Tony is fed up with Steve's behaviour, Tony wishes that Steve had never been de-thawed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-08 17:27:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11086434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vernie_klein/pseuds/vernie_klein
Summary: Tony had been working. The Accords weren't perfect, but theyworked. He had tried to put Rogers behind him, butStevewouldn't let go.





	I Didn't Mean to Hurt You

**Author's Note:**

> **The title is a line from "Jealous Guy" written and performed by John Lennon. It first appeared on the 1971 album, Imagine**
> 
>  
> 
> **As usual, I own nothing...**

Tony smiled as he put the finishing touches on the Mark XLVII. More silver than his trademark red and gold, this armor- Tony thought, was the best one yet. It combined the Bleeding Edge technology- the implants still useful, and it _peeled away_. Tony reconfigured the gauntlet bracelets and added more fire power. He wasn’t going to get caught in a situation like Siberia _ever_ again. A flick of the wrist called the armor pieces toward him. It had gotten better since the early days of the Mark XLVI. No more flying codpieces, the repulsor technology was efficient, more _streamlined_. He was still working on a safe version of Extremis, and the ability to store the armor _within_ himself. It was slow coming, but it was just that- coming.

“Boss? Ms Potts is on line one.” 

“Patch her through, Fri. Audio only.” Tony sighed as he pushed his rolling chair away from the digital display.

“Tony?” Pepper began. “Are you in the lab?”

“It’s a _Workshop_ , Pepper. How many times have I told you that? I’m-”

“Working on the future,” Pepper interrupted. “Yes, Tony, I _know_. But you’re going to be late for the Board Meeting, and you know how-”

“Pepper,” Tony whined. “Do I _have_ to go?”

“Stocks are down, Tony. The investors are worried, you’ve gone AWOL-”

Tony narrowed his eyes at her remarks. “Still right here. I _haven’t_ gone anywhere, Pep. I’ve been working in R &D like a good little boy-”

“And that’s the problem, Tony.” He could hear the sigh in her voice no matter how hard she tried to hide it. “You’ve been _there_. _Not_ in Manhattan where the Board is. _Not_ working on SI R &D, but building suits. _Suits_ , Tony. Might I remind you that you’re not an Avenger. The Avengers are no more, yet here you are-”

“Pepper…” Tony warned. 

Pepper did sigh this time. “Just get to the Board Meeting. I can stall them until after lunch to talk to you, but you _have_ to be there.”

“You can’t-” Tony paused and waited. He knew how this would go. Better to give in and deal than fight with yet _another_ person he loved and cared for. “Wheels up in ten. Will that be all, Ms Potts?”

‘Of course, Mr Stark. See you in two.” The line disconnected.

**~~~~~**

Tony stepped through the glass door and headed up across the walkway to his private quarters. He passed Cap’s room. Still shut up and on lockdown. Tony had the override codes, but he wasn’t going to use them. Not today. It had been four months since he sent the letter to wherever the _fuck_ Cap was staying with his merry band of misfit toys. He hadn’t heard one peep from the Anti-SHRA group. That didn’t mean that they were _silent_ \- oh no, they were working on _something_ with Fury, the one-eyed pirate. HYDRA bases were falling left and right. Reports were coming from all over Europe that a group with no affiliate, which meant no oversight, had been razing bases in fifteen different countries. 

Tony and the _new_ Avengers had been called out a few times. The first time had been a few weeks after Tony finished the new Iron Man Suit. The UN had sent Tony and his team to Gambia to help quell a coup. Tony had been gone for a few days that time. It had taken a few more weeks before the team had been called back out again, this time to Germany. Tony assumed it was to clean up after Cap’s team. A HYDRA base had been taken out, the scientists bound and gagged- trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey. Tony and his team ended up being a glorified janitorial clean-up crew. It hadn’t taken long to clear the base and arrest the scientists. Tony wasn’t part of the team that did interrogations, so he had been free to leave. This happened three more times in as many weeks, Tony and his team would be called out, only to find that the base had been cleared and the personnel ready to be brought into custody. 

“Boss?”

Tony stopped in front of his door and glanced back at the door across the hall. He shook his head and blew out a steady breath. _Nope_... He wasn’t going to go there. Tony keyed his code into the door pad and stepped into the pre-cooled space. “Yeah, Fri?”

“There is an envelope waiting for you on your bed.”

“Friday?” Tony chided, as he narrowed his eyes and made his way toward his bedroom. He knew the cleaning people had access to his room and kept things freshened and cleaned. That they would have left something behind made Tony nervous. It was times like these that he wished he had Extremis fixed and could call the Bleeding Edge Armor directly out of his skin. He called up the gauntlet, ready to blast whatever was sitting in the middle of the silver duvet. 

“One of the cleaning women left it for you. It was delivered via courier a few hours ago,” Friday answered. “It appears to have come from Switzerland. Most likely from Captain Rogers.”

Tony rolled his eyes as he flipped back his gauntlet and sat on the edge of the bed. Pulling the envelope toward him, he flopped onto his back, the duvet billowing up slightly around him. Tony ripped off the top of the envelope and dumped the contents on his stomach. 

A square of paper and a small USB stick fell onto Tony’s black undersuit. He threw the paper aside, not wanting to hear _anything_ that Steve had to say to him. He did _briefly_ wonder what song Rogers had picked for him. It was some _strange_ back and forth that they had. He wasn’t sure what Rogers thought to be accomplishing by sending him music. Sure, this meant that Steve was well taking Tony’s lessons about music to heart- he _had_ sent an R.E.M. song after all. Tony rolled over and plugged the stick into the small radio on his nightstand.

Tony knew within the first few piano notes- sweet and melodious, _exactly_ what song Rogers had sent him. John Lennon’s voice filtered through the speakers in the ceiling and Tony leaned back, his head pillowed on his forearm. 

“ _I was dreaming of the past_  
_and my heart was beating fast_  
_I began to lose control_  
_I began to lose control_  
_I didn't mean to hurt you_  
_I'm sorry that I made you cry_  
_Oh my I didn't want to hurt you_  
_I'm just a jealous guy_ ”

Tony balled his fists. This was _not_ what he wanted to hear from Rogers. He wanted him to be repentant. He wanted Rogers to grovel at his feet, tell Tony that he was _wrong_ \- that Barnes meant nothing to him. He wanted to get Rogers on his knees so that he could _spit_ in his face and tell him to fuck off. 

“ _I was feeling insecure_  
_You might not love me anymore_  
_I was shivering inside_  
_I was shivering inside_  
_Oh I didn't mean to hurt you_  
_I'm sorry that I made you cry_  
_Oh my I didn't want to hurt you_  
_I'm just a jealous guy_ ”

 _No_ \- he couldn’t- Tony didn’t- 

“ _I didn't mean to hurt you_  
_I'm sorry that I made you cry_  
_Oh my I didn't want to hurt you_  
_I'm just a jealous guy_ ”

“ _I was trying to catch your eyes_  
_I thought that you were trying to hide_  
_I was swallowing my pain_  
_I was swallowing my pain_  
_I didn't mean to hurt you_  
_I'm sorry that I made you cry_  
_Oh my I didn't want to hurt you_ ”- 

“Friday, cut recording,” Tony barked through his teeth. 

“Boss?”

“No. I don’t want to hear it anymore. That song is banned forthwith from this compound,” Tony stated. He pulled the USB from the radio and threw it across the room at the wall with all his might. The stick smashed against the furthest wall, bits of plastic and aluminum spraying the floor below. Tony jumped up from the bed and headed toward Rhodey’s rehab room. 

“Woah… slow your roll, Tones.” Rhodey called from his spot on the stationary bike.

“No, buttercup, I will not slow my roll,” Tony walked up to the breakfast bar and filled the french press full of hot water from the electric kettle. He tapped his fingers on the granite countertop waiting for the coffee to brew. “I’ll be in the workshop. There are some upgrades to the War Machine armor-”

“Iron _Patriot_ , Tones.”

“That’s a _douchey_ name, twinkletoes… And you know it.” Tony pressed the plunger on the french press and dumped the contents into a thermos. “Well… love you, honeybunches. I’ll see you later.”

“Tony!” Rhodey hollered at Tony’s back. “You can talk to me.”

Tony stepped into the elevator and twisted back toward his oldest friend. “I don’t need to talk about anything. There’s nothing to talk about, baby. Friday…”

**~~~~**

Tony turned from the hologram in front of him. Rhodey’s upgrades were coming along as well as the Engineer had hoped. He had been able to add stabilizers to the legs so that Rhodey could operate the heavy armor in his braces. 

“Boss, you have hit the 32 hour mark.”

“Friday… I have a lot of work to do. I don’t need to hear you _mother-hen_ me. If I wanted that I would ask Ste-” Tony stopped and took a shaky breath. He still hadn’t read Rogers’ letter. He didn’t know if he _wanted_ to. Tony had it in the pocket of his jeans- it was either that or burn it. His hand inched toward the offending pocket and Tony plucked the wrinkled and folded paper from the small space.

Tony shook the letter out, smoothing the wrinkles and folds on the desk to better read the missive. 

Tony-

I know that you asked me to leave, but I can’t. I just can’t allow this space between us. There was a time that I would have taken your words and never spoke to you again. Now is not that time. You once told me that everything I am came out of a bottle. But I disagree. 

I was a scrappy kid growing up, but you knew that. I was never handed anything. Bucky and I scrapped by _everyday_. More than once I almost died. I learned to stick up for myself at an early age. Growing up in Brooklyn Heights, I was propositioned more than once. I had to stand up for those around me. Erskine told me that the serum amplifies everything inside of a man. That good becomes great, bad becomes worse… That someone who had been weak his entire life knows the value of strength and compassion. 

That’s why I can’t give up on this- give up on _us_. You may think that what I did was reprehensible. And I agree. I should have told you. That’s the bad become worse. I didn’t _mean_ to hurt you, Tony… And all I succeeded in doing was hurting you worse. I understand if you want me to go away, but I won’t. I’ll prove to you that I can be the man Erskine hoped me to be. For you.

-Steve 

Tony tossed the paper back on the desk top. “Friday… Go dark. Protocol Bad English.”

“Yes, Boss.” Friday blacked out the glass and locked down the lab.


End file.
